Leaving the water

We had stopped by the church to drop off our trash on the way to the community meal tonight (it’s okay, we rent from the church, so we get dumpster usage in the deal : ), and when we stopped, Kaemon noticed the green tent from Groce Funeral Home.

“Can we walk down to Mr. Willis’ grave, Mama?”

He kind of surprised me with this request….I just didn’t expect a 10 year old to even be thinking about these heavy, holy things. (Lesson to Mommy: never underestimate these precious little humans.)

Kaeddin agreed, “Yeah! Mama, please?”

Trash got dumped, and then we saw Pappaw’s old blue truck driving back around the church. He stopped and said “Let's walk down to see Willis’ place.” We laughed that Kaemon had just asked the same thing.

When we arrived at the tent, there was a big group of dragonflies all around that side of the cemetery. Kaeddin walked all around his grave, looking at the flowers, and Kaemon stood with Pappaw and me. As usually happens with 10 and 8 year old siblings, a scuffle began, and Pappaw said “You all stop that now, you know what Mr. Willis would say.” They looked up at Pappaw with a little fear in their eyes, and he said “He would tell you all to not be so loud.” They stopped and giggled. I think I will be invoking the name of Willis Wright every time my kids fight. He was one of the most peaceful and soft-spoken people I know, and he can now be the patron saint of quarreling siblings!

Pappaw explained to the kids that it was just Mr. Willis’ body that was in that grave, that his soul, the essence of who he was, was now with God. He reminded them that Preacher Joe calls our body “the pod” (from the epitath about Oliver Pease, see if you can figure out the pun.) We had a good talk about our soul being with God, and how many chances will God give us to accept His gift of eternity? I told Daddy about my husband’s deep question we have discussed before….what would happen if Satan asked for forgiveness? Let that sink in….and see if your answer reveals to you anything about your view of God and His mercy.

We explored a few other gravemarkers, and Pappaw told the kids how to do a tombstone rubbing. Kaemon tried to read some of the old markers, and we told them about some of the stones there that have no markings at all.

Kaeddin wandered all the way down to the honeysuckles and brushy area next to the trees, and Pappaw told us that there are even more unmarked graves….possibly of some of the Native Americans and African-American slaves that were members of the early Hominy Baptist Church….under that honeysuckle.

She came back with some large fuschia silk roses that had blown into the brush. She carried them back up to Mr. Willis’ grave and laid them neatly next to the white hydrangeas and red roses. The dragonflies were still swarming all around, and it was so pretty in the bright getting-ready-to-set sun. Another moment this week that I needed my camera!

Pappaw and I wondered if there was something about cemeteries that drew the dragonflies. There is no water source very close to it, and there were so many of them. I told him about the movie Dragonfly and how the symbol of dragonflies eventually led the main character to find where his wife died, and a great treasure with it (I don’t want to completely spoil the movie if you ever want to see it.) Daddy thought maybe dragonflies sensed the freshly turned dirt, or maybe the change in the state of the soul of the deceased. It was a very beautiful and spiritual moment watching them fly around in the sharpness of the sun.

When we got home later, I found two blogs about dragonflies and how they get their wings…one was more of a legend and the other was a little more based in natural science. Basically, a dragonfly lives in its nymph form underwater, attached to a reed or other water plant, for as long as 1 to 5 years. (Gross goofy science footnote: It breathes through gills in its rectum, and propels itself up the reed when it’s time to metamorphosize by expelling water through its anus…can’t wait to tell the kids this little science fact in the morning!) When its time comes to change into a dragonfly, it has to leave the water, shed its skin, and then it can fly away, but only lives for 1  to 2 months. 

The legend version of the story compared the dragonfly’s life as a nymph underwater as our life here on earth, in the flesh….and the dragonfly which has left the water and gained its wings represents our souls as they leave this earth and become a new creature, freed from our earthly bodies. It’s a great little metaphor for the spiritual change we undergo when we die.

This is a sweet and comforting way to understand seeing dragonflies after losing a loved one, and in our case, seeing them swarm around the church cemetery. Even without the legend aspect, we can see that there is a connection of mystery between all of God’s creatures, great and small. 

If the Bible tells us that the very rocks will cry out and the trees will clap their hands in praise of their Creator, maybe also these little winged pretties share their praise and love for their Creator by being present in the places we name as sacred where we honor the transition of those we love as they "leave the water".